If Only War Bear Could Hit Lefties

Kyle Schwarber hasn’t necessarily hit like Babe Ruth when he’s faced southpaws at the highest level, so you knew he was going to be in for a long day with Clayton Kershaw, the best lefty in the game, taking the mound Tuesday afternoon. Wait, what’s that?

No way, bro. Video or it didn’t happen.

Huh, you don’t say. I mean, it was just two singles though. Of course, getting any kind of hit at all against Kershaw is an accomplishment. That’s still true even if, as it appears, Kersh was working on the offspeed stuff instead of leaning on that legendary heater.

Requisite small sample size and Spring Training caveats aside, it’s always a good thing when a left-handed hitter, particularly a young one who was susceptible to southpaws last year, racks up a couple base knocks against a lefty pitcher with multiple Cy Young awards in his trophy room. It’s actually kind of inconceivable. I can’t conceive it.

Next you’re gonna tell me Grandpa Rossy hit a homer.



I suppose you’ll tell me the old man had another extra-base knock too.

Shut the front door. I give up. The only thing that made sense about this game was Kris Bryant going yard, which will eventually join death and taxes on the inevitability scale. I don’t have video of that, but here’s some video of Schwarber talking about facing Kershaw and lefties in general.

I will leave you with a daily reminder that Spring Training records don’t matter. Seriously, it does not matter that the Cubs aren’t winning right now and thinking so is nothing short of an egregious fallacy. It’s totally okay to want to see your team win, but when tons of guys who won’t make the roster are seeing lots of time, you can’t think the final score means anything.

David Ross really hit a home run?

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